They’re God's Project

All sins can be forgiven, but some leave a deeper wound.

Author

Steven Pawley
November 04, 2025

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Enjoy today’s read!

“All sins can be forgiven, but some leave a deeper wound”. Think deeply about that before you tell someone “They just need to forgive” or “build a bridge and get over it”.

It’s things like this that well-meaning Christians say but are unhelpful. Here’s another:

“What they meant for evil God uses for good” sounds uncaring when I’m sitting amid the consequences of someone else’s harmful, hurtful, or sinful actions.

“All things work together for good” doesn’t comfort me when I’m sitting in grief, loss, or pain. I don’t want to see it work for good. At that moment, I want what I lost back.

If you’ve been reading my emails for a while you know that they’re intentionally brief, biblical, and cut through confusion. But you can only say so much in 500 words or less.

So here goes: 

We Christians are not always good or wise counselors. In fact, sometimes we’re more like Job’s friends (Job 16:2). Ouch, I know, but I did say “we”.

We try to fix, correct, rationalize or point to Scripture to explain what presently seems inexplicable – at least to someone who’s sitting in the pain of what just happened.

To be honest, even well-intended words can feel like we’re poking a finger in their wound.

I’m reminded of some wise counsel I heard from a pastoral mentor years ago. “Steve, look at your hands, I don’t see nail prints. You’re not the Savior, Jesus is.”

Wise words! Believers are to be like Jesus and remember that we are not Jesus.

They’re God’s project. But we can be wise comforters if we stay in our lane (2 Cor 1:3-5). I like what Paul says (2 Cor. 7:5-7).

I don’t always live it out in the moment, but I’m working hard at being the best part of Job’s friends, quick to offer quiet comfort and slow to advise (Job 2:11-13).

I like how Paul said it (1 Cor. 13:11-13). Job’s friends missed that wisdom and that’s his story to tell.

When we grow up in our understanding, we give ourselves permission to humbly admit, “I don’t know why this happened, and I don’t know what to say or do.” So, we don’t.

But while we quietly wait and pray for answers, for God’s comfort, for understanding… I can sit with you, love you well, and trust God and believe for you while you wrestle.

When we do that, genuine forgiveness can blossom, and with more considerate and right beliefs about God they can build that bridge and eventually see the good He’s working.

Meanwhile, we can be the friend who isn’t the Savior but can be more like Jesus. Who can you be that for today? You know, just sit, be present, no advice: they’re God’s project.

I wrote this email a while back and many were helped by it. You can read it here.

Maybe you know someone who could be encouraged by today’s post. Go ahead and forward it to them before you get busy with other things.

You’ll find more in the GO DEEPER section to bake this in a little more. As always, hit reply and let me know your thoughts about how this landed with you.

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If You Would Like to GO DEEPER with Today’s Message:

When we sit with others in their problems, we’re also sitting with them in their pain. Whatever you try to touch with words might feel like you’re putting a finger in an open wound.

That’s why your quiet presence can be more effective than opening your mouth (Compare Job 2:11-13 with Job 16:2).

It’s okay and normal to not know what to say when others are experiencing grief, loss, and sinful acts against them. Give yourself permission to be a silent partner in their experience.

You’re not a “professional” and that’s a plus. They need a friend while they wrestle with God. He can handle their struggles, questioning, and emotions. It’s we who are usually most uncomfortable with that.

So, when you sit with them you bring God with you. No words, just be like He is. Consider each of the following scriptures as guidance toward your disposition, and not as verses you should share:

2 Cor. 1:3, 7:5-7, 13:11, Rom 15:5, 13, 33, 12:12-13, 15, 1 Thes. 5:25.

We cannot offer to others what we do not have. But we can all love genuinely and graciously. If that’s all you can offer it’s more than enough and speaks better than words.

Some things you can do include a hug or gentle touch, sit quietly with them, chores, meals, errands, a kind note, prayer, and other things that remind them they’re not alone.

God knows what He’s doing so trust His process (Isa. 55:8-9).

Maybe you or someone you care about is going through a tough season. Feel free to send me a reply and let’s take it to prayer together.

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