Anxious, sweating and head down my eyes were studying the pattern in the carpet, but my mind was searching wildly for a way out.

She had asked me a simple question and waited quietly for an answer.

Just one question put me into an emotional spiral that felt like I was being pulled under never to see the surface again. I was even holding my breath and fighting to not answer.

It was a life-defining moment but at the time just felt too painful to deal with.

And that was the problem.

But it was also her question.

“Why are you willing to endure so much discomfort instead of deciding and following through?”

My twenty-something self didn’t have an answer.

But it was a pattern.

And I didn’t like being challenged this way.

But life had gotten so out of control I finally sought out a counsellor. 

She asked good questions every time we met but didn’t say a lot.

She didn’t have to.

She was gentle but tough and wasn’t going to say another word until I answered her. The room was quiet for several minutes.

That’s a long time when you’re “holding your breath”.

I had become used to the discomfort, consequences and chaos of not taking a step in the direction I knew was right and deeply wanted.

“I don’t know” finally broke the silence.

Staying stuck is not the best choice, but it is a choice.

“Why am I willing to put others through this while enduring all this awfulness myself instead of deciding” kept pulsing loudly through my brain.

But now I could finally hear it in my heart also.

“I don’t know”.

She helped me figure it out and quite honestly turned my life around.

I’ve thought about that conversation a lot over the years.

Why are we more comfortable with the pain of not choosing instead of doing the thing we know is right and would move us forward in the right direction?

“Steve, it’s not my place to tell you what to do, but I believe it would be helpful if you took a step, even if it feels unsafe for you right now.”

“You’re waiting for your feelings to change, but it’s clear to me that they won’t. They aren’t the real issue here. Decide and step into it.”

She wasn’t a believer, at least not to my knowledge. And at the time, neither was I.

But if ever someone understood the power of Pro. 16:3, it was her. And if anyone ever experienced the wisdom and power of stepping into Psa. 37:5, it was me.

It’s counter-intuitive to how many of us approach decision-making, but what else would you expect from God?

He’s going to be quiet until you answer.

He doesn’t do it your way and won’t. Instead of waiting for your feelings to change, do the thing and watch God change them for you.

So, what’s your answer?

“I don’t know” won’t get it done.

Pro. 3:5-6 might also be worth stepping into.

Here’s my question for you: 

What is the one thing you need to stop thinking, praying about, or procrastinating over because you’re waiting for your feelings to change instead of just doing the thing? Reply and share it. I read every email.

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🧔🏻‍♂️For the men in your life. This is a good place for men to open up. I’ve been a part of this ministry to men for a while and highly recommend it.

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