I saw him coming and knew why. Looking into his eyes I could feel his frustration. My body’s reaction was taking me all the way back to when I was in his shoes.

I could feel it in my gut, my head and my heart.

To be honest, I also hated it.

He had the responsibility for an outcome I once owned. Under a lot of pressure, up against a hard deadline and discouraged; he was about to invite me into his problem.

As he shared the opportunity, explained its purpose, value to others, benefits to me and what it would mean to him and the Lord I felt a hard tug inside.

And then came the silence.

There was a lot riding on my answer and I knew it.

It felt like my emotions desire to help were magnetic and experiencing a strong pull.

And then my mind decided to engage and start rationalizing.

“You already know how”.

 “You enjoy this”.

 “There’s a need”.

“You know how it feels to be in his shoes”.

 “You can make it work.”

“Don’t let the team down.”

It’s grueling watching someone in need quietly wait for your answer. It’s equally grueling being that someone and waiting (while quietly praying) for a yes.

I’ve been in both places and you have too.

Pro. 13:12 captures both sentiments well.

We experience this as a parent. Or spouse, friend, co-worker, leader.

There’s a big ask, asker, and asked. And a little anxiety in the answering stage.

I knew what I had to do but empathy and sympathy were going all in, and apathy was nowhere to be found.

I needed Nancy Reagan next to me whispering, “just say no”.

When I get into situations and need guidance I like to ask myself a question.

It’s not the “what would Jesus do” question though.

It’s based on Rom. 15:4 and helps me search Scripture for others who faced what I’m facing. And when I do look to Jesus, He honored His limits.

Because sometimes Jesus said yes to a needy soul (Mark 10:46-52).

He also said no to the needy soul (Matt. 15:25-26).

At times Jesus would just walk by a whole bunch of needy souls (John 5:1-4).

To focus on one (John 5:5-9).

After all, He was God and a man. His humanity put limits on what He could and would do. And He was comfortable with it.

He doesn’t expect any more out of you and me.

“I can’t”.

There were already many good things on my plate and no need to add another one.

It’s taken awhile to get comfortable with my “yea meaning yea and nay meaning nay”.

I know that I could always make room for more on my plate.

But it wouldn’t be on some empty space called “a little margin” in my life. It would be piled on all the other stuff.

If I’m going to choose “yes”, something good must also come off my plate to make room for it.

And I don’t have to hate it anymore – it’s just how life with limits is.

 It’s what Jesus would (and did) do.

Here’s my question for you:

Where is it time to say “yes” because it is the right thing to do and where do you need to say “no” without allowing your emotions to tug at you? I’d love to hear your response. Reply and share it with me. I read every email.

Help Wanted: I’m feeling challenged to double the reach of this ministry and need your help. Can you forward this newsletter regularly to a few people you know — in your household, workplace and church — and encourage them to subscribe? Thank you.

🧔🏻‍♂️For the men in your life. This is a good place for men to open up. I’ve been a part of this ministry to men for a while and highly recommend it.

🛐 How can I pray for you? Please let me know here.

📖 ICYMI. Monday 8pm (eastern) online Bible study & fellowship. Click this Zoom link a little before 8pm on Monday and you’ll be welcomed in!

📫 Forward this email to friends & family and encourage them to subscribe

♥️ Follow on Instagram | Facebook | Threads for more biblical encouragement.

👊🏼 Quick Favor? I’m attempting to double the reach of this newsletter. You can help. Can you forward this to a few people you care about-and encourage them to subscribe? Would you also help me spread the word by sharing BV2U to your social media? Thank you.

💬💡Feedback? Let me know how to improve BV2U or how it impacted you. Reply to this email or use [email protected]. I read every email.